Love?I have wondered, probably like many of you - Just what is love.
Is it physical, mental, internal, external, is it visible. Can you touch it, taste it. or like common sense do we just accept that it exists and unquestionably believe that everyone either possesses it - or is capable of receiving, giving, perhaps dreaming of it. Love?
Young LoveWhen I was a small boy, love for me was cuddling up to my mum on the couch. Her arm around me, snuggled together, safe and warm. I can not remember ever feeling that 'loved' again. I know when my own children were young and they would snuggle up with me, I felt an overwhelming sense of protection, of security and unconditional joy. This instinctual love of our offspring - well until they reach their teen years and we want them out the house - the little shits!.
As I grew older and things hidden in the dark recess of my underpants began to grow and gain a life of its own, love was lust, was love I think. Could this five second release of frustration and desire be relief. Is it possible to love many girlfriends in this way? Or are we merely testing equipment, honing our skills as we search for the perfect partner, our match made in heaven, our soul mate.
I have honestly believed that I found my 'Soul mate' on more than one occasion. Throwing everything into a relationship, forgetting my friends and family and focusing on the one true love in my life - only to crash and burn some months, some years down the track. Love sucks!
Why is it if we can fall in love with someone, accepting all they are and everything they are not - why do we fall out of love so easily?
Hard workFalling in love with one person is bloody hard work. You have to muzzle all your instincts to sleep, shag anyone you can, because Love is about commitment and commitment is bloody difficult. I recently asked my wife what her favourite song was. She said she didn't have one. Now I was quite shocked by this - because what about 'our song'? You know the one we danced to on our wedding day? She said "That's not our song, it's your song'!
I suppose after 30+ years of marriage I should have expected something like that. Marriage becomes like a comfortable pair of slippers, warm, easy to slip into but slightly worn out (and occasionally a little smelly). Well, if my love is like a pair of comfortable slippers, I'm not throwing them out! So your fucking stuck with me woman!
Because that's what Love is - its tolerance, painful, angry , spiteful and slightly aromatic. Its also warm and caring, safe, secure and on occasions just a little bit dirty.
I was studying Physics some years ago, and in one of the units on Quantum Physics , it simply defined Quantum Theory as 'common Sense'. We can't see, touch, hear, smell or taste common sense - but we just believe everyone has it within them. That's the same with Love I'm afraid.
Best of luck finding it.